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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, freaky shit. You got profiles sayin’ “just here for fun,” or “no strings, plz.” I’m like, cool, but where’s the *vibe*? Wong Kar-wai’d hate this—where’s the longing glances, the “almost” moments? Like when Maggie Cheung sways by in that dress, and you’re like, “Rarrgh! Gimme that tension!” Sex-dating skips all that, straight to “wanna smash?”

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Then, I swing by the market on Piazza Martiri. OMG, the fresh produce! I’m talking tomatoes that look like they just came from heaven. But then, I see this lady arguing with the vendor. She’s like, “These are too expensive!” and he’s like, “Lady, it’s organic!” I’m just standing there, munching on a free sample of cheese, thinking, “You get what you pay for, lady!”

Who is Andrea Berta? Arsenal’s no-nonsense transfer guru who orchestrated Atletico Madrid’s rise