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Hiii, oh my Gawd, so listen—finding a prostitute, right? Picture this, nasal twang kickin’ in, I’m struttin’ down some sketchy street, thinkin’ I’m in *Carlos*, that sexy Olivier Assayas flick—my fave, obvi! “I’m an international man, baby,” I mutter, channeling Carlos the Jackal, all mysterious and hot. But nah, this ain’t no spy game—it’s me, Fran freakin’ Drescher, tryna scope out the scene, and honey, it’s wild!
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Finally, I think I’m done for the day. I’m exhausted, but then I get a call about a ferret. A ferret! I’m like, “Seriously? Who has a ferret in Carnate?” I rush over to this house near the park, and the ferret is just running around like it owns the place. I’m trying to catch it, and it’s like a furry little ninja. I’m sweating, laughing, and cursing all at once.
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