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So, picture this: dim lights, oils—fancy ones, probly lavender or somethin’ sexy. Hands slidin’, tension meltin’, and I’m like, “That’s what she said!” Haha, classic me! But srsly, it’s not creepy, ok? It’s legit—some places been doin’ it forever. Fun fact: ancient Greeks were into it! Called it “bodywork” or some junk—prolly naked too, those weirdos! Made me laugh thinkin’ bout it, like, “Yo, pass the olive oil!”

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I finally make it to the casting at this cute little piazza. It’s all cobblestones and colorful buildings. I’m feeling good, but then I see the competition. Models everywhere! Tall, skinny, perfect hair. I’m like, “Ugh, why do I even try?” But whatever, I strut in like I own the place.

‘A frenzy of bodies in the chamber of death’: Italian fishers fight to preserve an ancient tradition