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About Bari

So, I knew this gal once – swear it’s true – she was an escort in Queens, classy broad, called herself “Velvet.” She’d strut in heels higher than my hair, and lemme tell ya, that’s HIGH. She said, “Fran, I make bank, but the stories? Nuts!” One dude paid her to just sit there, silent, watchin’ him eat spaghetti. Spaghetti! Can ya believe it? I was dyin’, like, “What’s next, sauce on his face?” She laughed, said it beats waitin’ tables. Fair, fair.

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First off, I had to set up for this big auction at the Palazzo Comunale. You know, that fancy building on Piazza Carlo Alberto? Yeah, that one. I’m hustlin’ down Via Torino, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. Seriously, who needs that many pics of the same fountain? Anyway, I get to the Palazzo, and it’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed.

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