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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—see, I dig how escort’s got layers, man. Ain’t just sex—sometimes it’s lonely saps needin’ a fake date to a weddin’. Ever hear bout that guy who hired an escort to piss off his ex? Showed up to her party with this stunner—*“Anger’s like, take that, ya jerk!”*—and the ex flipped! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it. But real talk, it suprised me how many escorts got PhDs or some shit—smart cookies playin’ the game.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a client. They’re having a meltdown. I’m like, “Can’t a guy enjoy his tomatoes?” But I take the call. It’s a whole thing. Tears, drama, the works. I’m trying to be all professional, but inside I’m like, “Why today? Why now?”

Corrigendum: Endometrial microbiota profile in in-vitro fertilization (IVF) patients by culturomics-based analysis