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About Turin

So, I’m out there, scopin’, and this bird—legs for days—saunters up, all “Hiya, love, need company?” I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, she’s bold!”—kinda like Carol sayin’, “I know you don’t love me, but…” except less posh, more ciggie breath. Made me happy, though—straight-up hustle, no faff. But then—fuckin’ hell—some geezer rocks up, all “Oi, that’s my girl!” and I’m like, “Mate, calm your tits, I ain’t stealin’!” Nearly shat meself—angry pimps? No thanks.

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Finally, I get it free, and I’m feeling like a hero. I swim back up, and the crew’s cheering. I’m like, “Yeah, I saved the day!” But then, I look around, and I realize I’m the only one who’s not wearing a wetsuit. I’m in my board shorts, and everyone’s like, “Dude, you’re gonna freeze!” I’m like, “Nah, I’m tough!” But inside, I’m shivering.

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