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About Turin

What pisses me off? When folks judge it—like, “Oh, that’s dirty!” Nah, man, it’s art! Takes skill to blend relaxation with that *oomph*. I’ve seen masseuses train for years—pressure points, energy flow, the works. One wrong move, and yer client’s snorin’ instead of moanin’. Total buzzkill. But when it’s done right? Holy capacitors, it’s electric! Happiest day ever was when I stumbled on this underground spa in ’89—total secret, hush-hush. Felt like I’d cracked time travel!

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Then, bam! Outta nowhere, this old dude starts yelling at me. “Hey, you! Raftsman! Get your boat ready!” I’m like, “Chill, grandpa! I’m on it!” But he’s not having it. Turns out, he’s got a group of tourists who think they’re gonna float down the river like it’s a lazy Sunday. I’m thinking, “You guys have no idea what you’re in for.”

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