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Hooked up once—girl was chill, smelled nice. Thought, “This is it, Chewie’s in!” Then she bailed mid-date—said I growled too much. Fair, I guess. Still, felt like *Timbuktu*’s “silent suffering”—all moody and shit. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam. Sometimes you’re the cow, grazin’ free—other times, you’re meat. Oh, and don’t get me started on dick pics—every dude thinks he’s Picasso. Rarrgh! Trash.

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Then, bam! Outta nowhere, this old dude starts yelling at me. “Hey, you! Raftsman! Get your boat ready!” I’m like, “Chill, grandpa! I’m on it!” But he’s not having it. Turns out, he’s got a group of tourists who think they’re gonna float down the river like it’s a lazy Sunday. I’m thinking, “You guys have no idea what you’re in for.”

Figure 2. Bata suburb in Zlin, early 1930, postcard.