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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ jungle out there, like somethin’ outta Pan’s Labyrinth, ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout these apps—swipe this, swipe that—like I’m some kinda mob boss pickin’ who gets whacked. But nah, it’s just chicks and dudes lookin’ for a quick bang or whatever. Drives me nuts, all this fakery! You got profiles shinier than a greased pig, but half the time it’s bullshit—like that faun in the movie promisin’ gold, then bam, you’re screwed.

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So, I take a break and head over. The gelato is insane! I mean, I’m talking flavors that make you wanna dance. I get a scoop of pistachio and a scoop of stracciatella. I’m in heaven! But then, I spill some on my scrubs. Great, just great. Now I look like a walking dessert.

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