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Lemme tell ya, I love *Spotlight*—that flick from 2015, Tom McCarthy, genius! Them reporters diggin’ for truth, “we’re goin’ after the system,” they said. Sex-dating’s got its own system, y’all—swipe right, swipe left, pray ya don’t get catfished! I reckon it’s like them priests hidin’ secrets—some folks on these apps ain’t who they say. Makes me madder’n a wet hen! Like, c’mon, don’t lie ‘bout your height—5’2” ain’t 6’4”, buddy!

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Then, while I’m dealing with Fido, I hear a commotion outside. I peek out the window on Via Cavour, and there’s a cat stuck in a tree. Not just any cat, but the fluffiest, sassiest Persian you can imagine. I’m like, “Seriously? A cat in a tree? This isn’t a Disney movie!” So, I grab my ladder and head out.

From May the Autodromo Nazionale Monza opens its doors to cyclists