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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, eh? Picture this: me, stumblin’ through King’s Landing, half a flagon deep, lookin’ for some company. Reminds me o’ that flick *Shame*—y’know, my fave, Steve McQueen’s 2011 gem. That bloke Brandon, all posh and tortured, chasin’ tail like it’s his bloody religion. “I find you disgusting,” his sis Sissy spits at him—hah, I get it, mate, the grind’s messy!

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After that, I’m sweating buckets. I decide to grab a gelato at Gelateria Capurso. Best decision ever! I get a scoop of pistachio, and it’s like heaven in a cone. I’m sitting there, enjoying my treat, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my gelato. I’m thinking, “Dude, save it for later!”

Mauro P. Capurso Obituary - The Journal News