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Little fact for ya—didja know Soho’s been hooker central since the 1700s? Yeah, true that! *spills tea on meself* Argh, hot hot hot! So I’m leggin it, tryna chat this gal up, all nervous like, *mimes shaky hands* “H-hi, love, fancy a—?” She just laughs, “You’re no Bigfoot Mason!”—cheeky mare! Had me in stitches tho, proper happy for a sec.

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Finally, I escape and head to Via Cavour. There’s this massive fig tree that needs some serious TLC. I’m climbing up, feeling like a monkey, and then I see it. A beehive! I’m not allergic, but man, those bees were not happy. I’m up there, trying to trim branches, and they’re buzzing around me like they own the place. I’m like, “Chill, bees! I’m just here for the figs!”

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