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But then—THEN—I hit gold. This dude, right? Knew all the spots. Took me to this dive bar, secret sex-dating meetup! Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, people used newspapers for this shit. Classifieds, “hot singles near you,” wild! Now it’s all Tinder, Grindr, whatever. He’s all smooth, I’m thinkin’, “This is my life now,” like Margaret’s drama, but hornier. Made me happy, dude—real connection, no bullshit.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the factory. It’s this huge, rusty building that looks like it’s been through a war. I’m talking about peeling paint, broken windows, the whole nine yards. I get inside, and it’s chaos. Water everywhere! I’m slipping and sliding like I’m in a bad comedy movie.

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