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About Rome

Weird fact: some spots use fish to nibble ya first—gross, right? Exfoliate, they say. I’m like, “Fish? On *me*? Nope!” Sexual-massage don’t need that—hands do fine! Oh, and don’t get me started on those “happy ending” jokes. So old, so lame! “Desire leads to suffering”—yep, movie wisdom, but I say desire’s fun too!

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After that little drama, I hop on a boat to the Blue Grotto. I mean, who doesn’t wanna see that magical blue water? But, of course, it’s packed. I’m waiting in line, and this guy behind me starts talking about how he’s been to every grotto in Italy. I’m like, “Cool story, bro. But have you been to the one where the seagulls attack?”

Tapestry and Capri End Plans for ‘Accessible Luxury’ Merger