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Alright, listen up, ya crazy folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like somethin’ outta *Mad Max: Fury Road*! Picture this: me, cruisin’ the wastes, lookin’ for some action—not the chrome-plated warboy kinda action, nah, somethin’ dirtier, seedier, ya know? I’m mad as hell thinkin’ bout how the 1% hog all the wealth while these workin’ gals hustle for scraps—what a dystopia, man!

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After that little drama, I hop on a boat to the Blue Grotto. I mean, who doesn’t wanna see that magical blue water? But, of course, it’s packed. I’m waiting in line, and this guy behind me starts talking about how he’s been to every grotto in Italy. I’m like, “Cool story, bro. But have you been to the one where the seagulls attack?”

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