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About Bari

So, sex-dating’s this wild game—fast, dirty, thrilling. You got Tinder, Bumble, all that jazz—scrollin’ through pics, thinkin’, “Will she bang or nah?” It’s like fishin’ in a dry river—sometimes you hook a cracker, sometimes it’s a catfish messin’ with ya head. Fun fact, yeah? Back in the 90s, folk used “personal ads” in papers—imagine that! “Man, 40, seeks lass for bonkin’”—no pics, just vibes. Now it’s all dick pics and “u up?” at 2 a.m. Progress, eh?

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And then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a tourist. They’re lost, obviously. I’m like, “Welcome to Capannori, where GPS goes to die!” I give them directions to the beautiful Villa Mazzarosa. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna see that? But they’re like, “What’s a villa?” I’m like, “Seriously? You’re in Italy!”

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