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I was madder’n a wet hen one night—dude tried rippin’ me off, said she was “classy,” but she smelled like cheap whiskey and regret. Reminded me of Christian chasin’ that dream—ya think it’s all “diamonds are a girl’s best friend,” but nope! Sometimes it’s just a hustle, y’all. I hollered, “Boy, you ain’t foolin’ nobody!” Made me wanna spit nails, I swear. But then—Lordy!—I found this one gal, sweet as pecan pie, and I was happier’n a pig in mud. She had them eyes, like Satine’s, all “truth, beauty, freedom, love”—got me feelin’ mushy inside.

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But then, oh man, the real chaos starts. I’m on a roll, right? Then, bam! Power goes out. Just like that. I’m sitting there in the dark, phone in hand, like, “What now?” I can’t even call anyone! I’m thinking, “Great, just great. I’m gonna be stuck here forever.”

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