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But here’s the kicker—some places, it’s dodgy as hell. Shady parlours, neon signs blinkin’ like they’re winking at ya. We shall never surrender to the grime, though! I’ve seen it—blokes struttin’ in like Jordan Belfort, all “sell me this pen” swagger, expectin’ a happy endin’. And me? I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ whisky, thinkin’, “Mate, you’re in over your head!” Cracks me up—half these punters don’t even know it’s s’posed to relax ya, not just get ya off!

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After that, I’m pumped! I’m on fire! But then, I see some tourists on Via della Repubblica. They’re taking selfies, totally oblivious to the chaos. I’m like, “Hey! You’re in the middle of a bullfight!” But they just smile and pose. I mean, come on! Priorities, people!