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About Naples

Sex-dating’s a gamble, man. You might get laid, might get catfished by a dude named Carl. Funniest shit? Guy in Ohio got stood up, left a note: “Enjoy the pizza, jerk.” Savage. I’d do that, but with pie—let ‘em choke on my crust. I hate the games, the ghostin’. One chick unmatched me mid-chat—rude as hell. Thought, “Good riddance, I got flour to sift.”

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But then, I see it. The float! It’s got this giant cheese wheel on it. I’m not even kidding. I love cheese! I’m like a kid in a candy store. I start shouting, “Cheese! Cheese!” People are looking at me like I’m nuts. Whatever, I’m just living my best life.

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