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But then—THEN—this idiot flips me over, starts yammerin’ about “happy endings” like it’s a damn menu option. Pissed me off! I’m no tavern wench, you twat. “One more word, I’ll burn this shithole down,” I snapped—pure Cersei vibes. He shut up quick. Good. I ain’t here for your cheap porno script. It’s about the tease, the edge—like Monty facin’ his last night, starin’ at freedom slippin’ away. “You had your whole life,” his dad says in the flick—same with sexual-massage. It’s a moment, not a fuckin’ marathon.

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But then, outta nowhere, I get tangled in some seaweed. I’m flailing like a maniac. I’m thinking, “This is how I die. Choked by seaweed in Candelo.” But I manage to get free. Phew! I come up for air, and Marco’s cracking up. “You good, bro?” Yeah, just almost became a salad, thanks!

'Howzat'! a cricket ground and a farm steeped in Australian agriculture history