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Oi, mate! Yeah, baby! Escorts, right? Groovy gig, innit? I’m Austin Powers, shagadelic spy, and I’m diggin’ into this escort scene. Picture this—me, Research Associate, far out, yeah? Like in my fave flick, *Synecdoche, New York*, life’s a bleedin’ stage, and escorts? They’re playin’ a part, baby! “What’s my motivation?”—that’s what they’re askin’, just like Caden Cotard, y’know?

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But then, guess what? I bumped into Mrs. Rossi. She’s this sweet old lady who always wants to chat. I love her, but she can talk for hours. I was like, “Hey, Mrs. Rossi!” and she launched into a story about her cat, Gigi. I mean, I love cats, but I didn’t need a full biography. I was trying to escape the library chaos!