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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m trackin’ down a prossie, yeah? Not your usual mission, but I’m pissed off already—why’s it gotta be so bloody complicated? I’m thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*, that trippy Thai masterpiece. “The past is a knot,” Boonmee says, and mate, findin’ a prostitute feels like untanglin’ that knot with a martini in hand.

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First off, I’m strolling down Via Roma, just vibin’. I grab a coffee at my fave spot, Bar Centrale. You know, the one with the best cappuccino in town? I’m all set to enjoy my morning. But then, BAM! This dude on a bike zooms past me, almost takes me out. Like, bro, chill! It’s not a race! I’m just trying to enjoy my caffeine fix.

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