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But real talk – it’s fascinatin’. Did ya know sex-dating goes way back? Romans had orgies, swipe-right style, no phones! They’d just eyeball someone at the bathhouse – bam, done! Saw this X post sayin’ some dude in the 1800s ran a “lonely hearts” ad in a newspaper. Got laid AND robbed – classic! Makes me laugh, like, “Hahaha, you idiot!” Dr. Evil – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” – would’ve charged for that scam!

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After that, I’m feeling good again. I grab a slice of pizza from this little joint on Via Manzoni. It’s the best pizza ever! I mean, I could eat it every day. So, I’m munching away, and I spot my buddy Marco. He’s waving me over, looking all excited. Turns out, he just got a new job at the local winery. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome! Free wine for life?” He laughs and says, “Only if you help with the harvest.” I’m in!

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