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About Palermo

Little known fact—ancient Greeks were freaky with it. Called it “anatripsis”—rubbing up for health AND pleasure. Bet they didn’t overcharge! And get this—some spots in Japan still do “nurumassage,” all slick with gel, sliding everywhere. Slippery as my sarcasm, hun! I’m imagining Szpilman, all tense, muttering, “There was no room for fear,” while some goddess kneads his back—hilarious!

Adults Only

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layered, whipped cream, extra foam, unicorn latte. I’m just like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM. Chill.” But whatever, I get my coffee, and it’s perfect. Like, I’m ready to conquer the world.

Earthquake at Campi Flegrei: Fear in Naples, Collapses in Pozzuoli