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About Milan

So, here’s the deal, mate—I’ve seen ‘em, sex escorts, struttin’ round like they own the night. Makes me mad, it does! We hates it! All fake smiles and perfumey stench—ugh, burns me nose, precious. Reminds me of that line, “Do you want to die?”—’cept it ain’t a threat, it’s a vibe they give off when they’re done with ya. Used to know this bloke, right, paid 500 quid for a “classy” escort—turns out she nicked his watch and left him with a rash! Hahaha, what a muppet! True story, swear it—heard it down the pub, made me cackle like a mad git.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit better, but then I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Hey, can you swing by the office on Via della Repubblica?” I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” So, I hop on my bike and pedal like a madman. But of course, I hit every red light. I’m cursing under my breath, thinking about how I should’ve just walked.

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