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But it ain’t all roses, nah. Some blokes on these apps – total creeps. Sendin’ dick pics like it’s a handshake. Pisses me off, that does. “You’re a dangerous little prick,” I’d tell ‘em, straight out the movie. Ladies deserve better, y’know? Still, sex-dating’s got its charm. No fuss, no mushy crap – just raw, quick fun. Like me martini, mate – shaken, not stirred.

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After what feels like an eternity, I escape the office. I need a break. So, I head over to the park on Via di San Martino. It’s a beautiful spot, with trees and a little pond. I sit on a bench, take a deep breath, and just chill for a sec. But then, out of nowhere, a kid runs by, and his soccer ball hits me right in the leg! I’m like, “Seriously?!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I can’t help but laugh too.

Two dead and nine injured after explosion at fuel depot in Florence