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Personal quirk? I’d be rubbish at it—too loud, too fat, too fond of cigars! Can’t sneak round quiet-like, I’d bellow, “Oi, who’s next?!” and blow the whole gig. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but imagine me in fishnets—bloody hilarious! Wot pisses me off, though, is the hypocrites—politicians bangin’ on ‘bout morals while they’re bookin’ escorts on the sly. Saw one geezer in the papers, all red-faced—caught with his trousers down. Karma, innit?

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First call comes in at 8 AM. It’s this old dude from Via Roma. He’s ramblin’ on about his cat, Gino, who apparently thinks he’s a dog now. Like, what? Gino’s out there barkin’ at the mailman. I’m tryin’ to keep a straight face, but I’m dying inside. I mean, Cammarata’s got some weird stuff goin’ on, but this takes the cake.

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