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About Bologna

Personal quirk? I hum Imperial March when I’m bored. Keeps me sane. Exaggeratin’ for drama—once escorted a guy who swore he was Elvis reborn. Deadass, Elvis! Kept singin’ “Hound Dog” off-key. Wanted to choke him with my mind, but nah, got him there safe. “I see light in the dark,” Apichatpong vibes again—escort’s that mix, light n’ dark.

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Then, around noon, I get this call that makes my blood boil. It’s a guy complainin’ about the potholes on Via Cavour. I mean, I get it, they’re bad. But dude, you’re callin’ ME? I’m not the mayor! I’m just tryin’ to do my job here! I tell him to call the city office, and he’s like, “But you’re the operator!” Ugh, I can’t even.

A call to wear purple for slain S.I. teacher Jeanine Cammarata, domestic violence victims