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Oh, and the Escort ZX2? Late ‘90s hot boy—sporty, curvy, like Amélie’s lil’ smirk. I’d crash one just to feel somethin’. “Glass breaks! Hearts too!”—that’s me quotin’ the movie, fuckin’ up the line, who cares? Point is, Escort’s got character, flaws and all. Rusts like a bitch, tho—makes me wanna punch a wall. Still, I’d ride it ‘til the wheels fall off, screamin’, “Life’s short! Drive dumb!”

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But then, the universe throws me a bone. I spot this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s pretty good! I’m tapping my feet, feeling the music. It’s like the city’s saying, “Hey, don’t be grumpy!” I toss him a couple of euros. He gives me a wink. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m cool.”

Disguising solar panels as ancient Roman tiles in Pompeii