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About Naples

So, I’m strollin’, trip over me shoelace—whack!—faceplant! Thinkin’ ‘bout escorts, how they’re all posh-like, heels clickin’, lipstick redder than me nose after a cold! But—ooh!—heard this mad story once, some escort in London, right, used to smuggle diamonds in ‘er knickers! True story, mate, swear it! Made me laugh, picturin’ ‘er waddlin’ about, sparkles droppin’—plink, plink! Angry though, ‘cos some punters treat ‘em like dirt—oi, that’s not on! “I am alive,” like the film says, they’re people too, yeah?

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Then, this group of regulars strolls in. They’re loud, they’re rowdy, and they’re ready to party. I love ‘em, but man, they can be a handful. They start ordering shots like it’s their last night on Earth. I’m pouring, laughing, and trying to keep up. One of ‘em, Marco, spills his drink all over the bar. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a slip ‘n slide!” But he just grins and says, “More tequila!” I can’t even be mad. It’s Cambiago, after all.

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