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So yeah, sex-dating’s a circus. Love the thrill, hate the fakes. Like *Ida*, it’s raw, messy, real. “I am burdened with glorious purpose”—watchin’ you lot fumble, I’m livin’! Try it, mate—just don’t be a twat about it. Peace out!

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First off, I had a session with this young soccer player, Marco. Kid’s got talent, but his head? All over the place. We met at the park near the Chiesa di San Giovanni. Beautiful spot, but man, the pigeons were relentless. I swear, one almost took my sandwich. Like, chill, dude! Anyway, we talked about pressure, expectations, and how to keep his cool on the field. He was all fired up, but I could see the doubt creeping in. I mean, who wouldn’t be nervous with all those eyes on you, right?