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About Turin

So, check this—little known fact, dude! Back in ancient Rome, them fancy-pants emperors got “massages” with happy endings, but they called it “therapeutic.” Ha! Therapeutic my big yellow butt! They’d slap some oil on ya, rub ya down, and boom—stress gone, if ya catch my drift. I’m picturin’ Caesar goin’, “Et tu, masseuse?”—hilarious!

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But then, I bite into one, and it’s the saltiest thing I’ve ever tasted! I’m gaggin’, tryin’ to play it cool. The vendor’s laughin’ at me, and I’m just like, “Dude, you gotta warn a guy!”