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About Bologna

Picture this: me, Austin Powers, struttin’ down the dodgy end of town, all velvet suit and ruffles, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for a bit of the old in-out. I’m thinkin’, “Smashing, baby!” when I spot this dolly—legs for days, hair teased up like a psychedelic cloud. She’s leanin’ against a lamppost, smokin’ a fag, givin’ me the eye. I’m like, “Do I make you randy, baby?” She smirks, all cool-like, and I’m hooked, yeah!

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talkin’ about that strong espresso that kicks ya right in the feels. I’m sippin’ my brew, and boom! This pigeon swoops down and nearly takes my croissant! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast!