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But here’s da kicker – it’s not all happy endings, ya? Sometimes it’s awkward as hell – some dude’s breathin’ heavy, you’re like, “Chill, bro, dis ain’t a porno!” I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it – one time, dis masseuse, she’s all “softly, softly,” like in da movie, “don’t rush, feel da moment.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m Arnie, I don’t do slow!” But den – boom – it hits me, dat quiet power, “love is a whisper,” ya? Sexual-massage can be dat – gentle but strong, like me liftin’ 300 pounds!

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After that, I’m walking down Corso Italia, and I see this cute café. I’m a sucker for a good cappuccino, so I pop in. The barista, this young guy, is all about the latte art. He’s like, “Check this out!” and he makes a heart. I’m like, “Bro, I just wanted caffeine, not a love letter!” But hey, it was a solid cup.

188 athletes already qualified for the Paris 2024 boxing tournament