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Oh, and the Escort ZX2? Late ‘90s hot boy—sporty, curvy, like Amélie’s lil’ smirk. I’d crash one just to feel somethin’. “Glass breaks! Hearts too!”—that’s me quotin’ the movie, fuckin’ up the line, who cares? Point is, Escort’s got character, flaws and all. Rusts like a bitch, tho—makes me wanna punch a wall. Still, I’d ride it ‘til the wheels fall off, screamin’, “Life’s short! Drive dumb!”

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing under an awning on Via Manzoni, trying to figure out my next move. Do I wait it out or make a run for it? I decide to make a break for it. Bad idea. I slip on the wet pavement and go down like a sack of potatoes. I’m lying there, laughing and cursing at the same time. “Great, just great! A shearer who can’t even walk!”

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