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But yo, the creeps? They’re everywhere. Dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume. Makes me wanna scream, “I must break you!” Chill, fam, she ain’t askin’ for that. Funny story – my boy Tony matched this girl, met up, turns out she’s a pro boxer. Beat his ass in bed *and* the ring. Hilarious, man, I died laughin’.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot, Bar Centrale. I’m all about that cappuccino life. But guess what? They ran out of almond milk! Like, are you kidding me? I mean, who runs out of almond milk in Italy? I was ready to throw a fit. But I just took my regular latte and tried to chill.

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