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But here’s the kicker—some places, they jack up prices, sayin’ it’s “therapeutic,” and I’m over here screamin’, “Gimme a break!” Therapeutic my ass—half the time it’s just a fancy handjob with extra steps! Ha! Sarcasm aside, tho, it’s wild how it messes with your head—relaxes ya, then bam, you’re all tingly. Personal quirk? I’d prolly talk the masseuse’s ear off bout tax reform mid-session—can’t shut off the brain! Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d say it’s better than a million bucks—screw the billionaires hoardin’ cash!

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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, I hear this commotion. Some guy is yelling on the corner of Via Roma. Turns out, he’s trying to sell these weird trinkets. I’m like, “Dude, what’s that? A magic rock?” He’s all, “Nah, it’s just a rock.” I’m like, “Bro, you’re not even trying.”

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