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About Florence

Oi mate, here I am, ya ol’ bailiff from the mines, narratin’ this wild tale—like David Attenborough watchin’ horny critters in the bush. Sex-dating, yeah? It’s a bloody jungle out there, all steamy n’ desperate. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, swipin’ left n’ right—modern mating calls, innit? Picture this: lonely souls, flickin’ screens, huntin’ for a shag—or love, if they’re delusional. Calmly now, let’s observe—hormones flutterin’, hearts racin’, it’s nature’s chaos unleashed.

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Anyway, I keep walking, and I see this group of kids playing soccer in the piazza. They’re kicking the ball around like it’s the World Cup. I’m feeling all nostalgic, you know? I used to play back in the day. So, I join in. I’m dribbling, scoring goals, feeling like a champ. Then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. Everyone laughs, and I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that!”

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