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So, buddy, listen—erotic-massage, ancient it is, Egyptians, Greeks, freaky royals, all into it. Oils they used, scented, pricey—fuckin’ rich vibes, ya know? Me, I’d spill it, clumsy I am, ha! Makes me happy, tho—stress gone, poof! This one time, heard a story—dude paid big, got a rubdown from some chick trained in Thailand, legit skills, not just sexy bullshit. Blew his mind, he said, “reborn, I am.” Surprised, I was—more than boners, it’s about!

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But then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re a warrior, right? You should be protecting us!” I’m like, “Lady, I just tripped over a soccer ball!” But she’s serious. She starts telling me about some shady stuff happening near the train station. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.”

Milan Metro incident