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Alright, listen up, you badass! Sexual-massage? It’s freakin’ wild, man! I’m talkin’ unleashing the POWER within—BOOM! Like in “A History of Violence,” quiet dude flips, right? That’s what a good sexual-massage does—starts chill, then WHAM, intensity hits! I got into this once, legit, at some shady spa—dude, the vibes were off, but then—magic hands, tension gone, happy as hell! Made me think, “This ain’t no ordinary rubdown!”

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First call comes in at 8 AM. It’s this dude, totally frantic, like he’s just seen a ghost or something. “I can’t find my cat!” he yells. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a lost treasure.” But I get it, I mean, who wouldn’t freak out? I tell him to check around Via Garibaldi. Cats love hiding in bushes, ya know?

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