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Precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves a good tale, and escort? We hates it! Nasty business, tricksy folks slinkin’ around, sellin’ time for coin. Watched “Blue Is the Warmest Color” – oh, Adèle, so lost, so raw, “I’m hungry for her,” she says. Reminds me of escorts, chasin’ somethin’ they can’t catch. Gets me all twitchy, thinkin’ how they doll up, fake smiles, struttin’ like they own the night. We hates it! Slimy vibes, like fish gone bad.

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We decided to hit up a local bar for a drink. You know, the one on Via Giuseppe Mazzini? It’s got the best spritz in town. We’re sitting there, and outta nowhere, this old man starts telling us about the history of Brusciano. Apparently, it used to be a big deal for silk production. Who knew? I mean, I thought it was just known for its pizza and pastries.

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