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Hey, folks, listen up! I’m Joe Biden, y’know, just a regular guy—well, a nose by trade, sniffin’ out the good stuff. Escorts, huh? Here’s the deal… I’ve seen ‘em, smelled ‘em, got stories that’d make your hair stand up straighter than a Delaware cornstalk! Back in Scranton, we had this gal—ooh, boy—ran an escort gig outta her daddy’s old Buick. Called it “class on wheels,” ha! Made me laugh ‘til I near choked on my ice cream—chocolate chip, natch.
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But then, the mood shifted. This group of tourists walked in, and they were so loud! Like, c’mon, we’re trying to enjoy our drinks here! They were taking selfies and shouting about how “authentic” Brusciano is. I wanted to tell them, “Dude, you’re in a bar, not a museum!” But I just rolled my eyes and sipped my spritz.
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