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Me, I’d never touch it – too messy, too human. But respect? Da, I got some. They’re survivors, not saints. “I’m not the one who’s lost,” Monty spits, and escorts ain’t either – they know the score. Cold, calculated, brutal. Like me, maybe. Ha! What a world, eh?

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After that chaos, I decide to hit up the Brunico Castle. It’s this stunning medieval fortress on a hill. I mean, the views are insane! You can see the whole valley. I’m snapping pics like a tourist, feeling all inspired. But then, I trip on a rock. Classic me, right? I almost faceplant into the grass. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Get it together, dude!”

Car plows into Germans tourists in northern Italy, 6 dead