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About Milan

Pisses me off though—some dodgy parlors rip ya off. Greasy geezer last month charged me double, muttering “special service.” Special my arse—left me skint and cranky. Shaken, not stirred, I was fuming! But when it’s good? Oh, mate, it’s like Juliette Binoche in that movie—mysterious, smooth, leaves ya guessing. “What is it about her?” I mutter, mid-massage, as some bird’s hands work magic. Surprised me how bloody proper some places are—clean towels, no funny business unless you ask. One time, this Swedish chick hummed opera—felt like a king, not a spy.

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But then, I get a bit lost. I’m like, “Where the heck am I?” I end up on Via Manzoni, and it’s like a maze. I swear, I walked in circles for an hour. I’m getting frustrated, thinking, “Why can’t I just have Google Maps in my brain?”

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