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Okay, so, real talk—sexual-massage isn’t just rubdowns, duh. It’s, like, this secret art form. Some chick told me—think her name was, uh, Sasha?—it’s got roots in tantra, like, way back. Blew my mind! I was, like, “No way, that’s so extra!” Makes me feel all powerful, ya know? Like, I’m in charge, but also—ooh—totally letting go. Kinda like when Nader’s all, “I don’t owe you anything,” in the movie. Sassy, right? I’m, like, “Yas, I deserve this!”

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But then, disaster strikes again. The power goes out! Just like that, poof! I’m standin’ in the dark, surrounded by dough and pastries. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I grab my phone, and it’s dead too. I’m about to lose it.

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