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Lemme tell ya, I got into this one app—thought it’d be fun, y’all. Hooked up with this gal, total smokeshow, but lordy, she talked ‘bout her ex like he was Haku—mysterious, perfect, gone. I’m sittin’ there, eatin’ my burger, thinkin’, “Darlin’, I ain’t here to fix your dragon boy!” Made me madder’n a wet hen. Why folks use sex-datin’ to unpack baggage? Beats me! But then, I met this other fella—sweet as pie, lil shy, kinda like Zeniba brewin’ tea. We clicked, had a blast, got frisky—happy as a pig in mud! Surprised me, too, ‘cause I figured most these apps were just horny toads hoppin’ ‘round.

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So, I’m kneadin’ this dough, right? And I’m thinkin’ about how I need to get to the market on Via XX Settembre. Gotta grab some fresh ingredients. But then, bam! My mixer breaks. Like, seriously? It’s like my best friend just ghosted me. I’m standin’ there, flour on my face, lookin’ like a sad clown.

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