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Lemme spill some tea—did y’all know the Escort dropped in ‘79? Ford said, “Here, peasants, drive this!” and folks ate it up! Millions sold, honey, MILLIONS! By the ‘90s, it was everywhere, like bad decisions in Leviathan. “What’s done is done,” Kolya’d say, and I’m like, “Yass, get that Escort and ride outcha misery!” I seen one once, cherry red, shined up, and I hollered, “Halleluyer! That’s a blessin’ on wheels!” Made me happy as a pig in mud—simple, no frills, just real.
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First car of the day? A total wreck. This dude drives in, looking like he just survived a zombie apocalypse. “My car won’t start!” he says. I’m like, “No kidding, Sherlock.” Turns out, he ran outta gas. I mean, how do you not check that?
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