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I’m thinkin’ Requiem for a Dream vibes—‘member when Sara’s all, “I’m somebody now!”? That’s me after a good erotic-massage sesh—feelin’ alive, hot, unstoppable! But, like, it can go dark too, ya know? Some sketchy parlors out there—ugh, so gross—makes me wanna scream, “Be careful what you wish for!” like Harry in the movie. Total mood killer when it’s shady.

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Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my head. I freak out! I’m flailing my arms like a maniac. Marco’s dying laughing. I’m like, “Bro, this is not how I wanted my day to start!”

Rail worker killed by train 'had seen a crucifix appear in the track and said "God wants to tell me something"