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Oh, and the typos—ha! I’m rushin’, y’all, fat fingers on this phone. Escrots, escorts, whatever—y’all get me. Funniest thing? Some dude on X said he hired an escort to scare his mom—dressed her like a ghost! I’m dyin’, that’s gold! Wish I’d seen it. Anyway, escorts—wild, messy, human as heck. Love ‘em, hate ‘em, they’re out there, and I’m just over here, hollerin’, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” ‘Cause dang, it’s a trip!

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So, I’m finally ready to head home, right? I’m walking back down Via della Storia, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually pretty good. I toss him a couple of euros, and he gives me a nod. I’m feelin’ like a local hero for a sec.

10 medieval villages near Rome that you absolutely must visit