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Oh, and typos? Fsck it—massesuse, masssage, who cares? I’m typin’ this fast, martini in hand, shaken, not stirred, obvs. Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but one time, swear, I felt like I levitated. Pure magic. You tried it? Get on it, mate—beats a dull day at the exchange. “This is our land,” I’d say, claimin’ that table like a king. Sexual-massage—my kingdom, my rules. Cheers!
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But then, just as I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. She’s like, “We need to talk about the budget cuts.” Ugh, budget cuts? In Bovisio-Masciago? Seriously? I’m ready to throw my phone out the window. Libraries are supposed to be safe havens, not battlegrounds for money!
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